Wednesday, March 27, 2013

How To Deal When Your Friend Dates Your Ex.


Oh the agony! When one of your friends starts dating your ex it can be excruciating. Seeing the two of them together can be one of the hardest things you’ve had to do. Here are 10 tips for how to survive the situation:


1.    Get over your ex. 

If you’re not over your ex, you need to get over it ASAP. Pining for them while they’re off with your friend is going to be torture and will put a serious strain on your friendship. The two of you aren’t together anymore and they’ve moved on. You need to do the same, even if you have to force yourself.

2.    Hang out with other friends. 

Don’t dump the friend that’s dating your ex, but make sure to spend time with your other groups of friends when you need a bit of space from the happy couple. There are lots of other people in your life (and if not, go meet some new friends) that will be able to offer distraction and space when you need it.

3.    Don’t blow off your friend. 

Even if it hurts, don’t blow off your friendship over this. If you need space, let your friend know that you’re over your ex but it’s still a bit hard to get used to seeing them together. Then they won’t think that you’re ditching them and you’ll feel better about telling them how you feel.

4.    Don’t trash your ex to your friend. 

They don’t want to hear all the gory details about why you broke up or what a loser your ex is. Chances are they’ve already heard you talk about it when you broke up and now it’s their turn to make those realizations on their own. Let them be in the relationship and see things for themselves.

5.    Don’t trash your friend behind their back. 

Don’t be tempted to slam your friend when they start dating your ex. They’ll be hurt when it gets back to them and will wonder why you didn’t just talk to them in the first place.

6.    Distract yourself. 

Throw yourself into a new project or other activities that you love. Don’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself or let them see you wallowing. Dust yourself off and do something that makes you happy and eventually you will be.

7.    Go on dates of your own. 

Don’t start dating to make them jealous, but for your own sake. Your ex has moved on and it’s time you do too. Get out there and find someone that makes you happy.

8.    Try to accept it and be happy for them. 

This is a tough one but it’s important. There’s not much you can do about the fact that they are together. You can either throw away a good friendship over it or you can do your best to accept it and be happy for them. Even if you have to fake it at first, you’ll eventually come to accept it.

9.    Remember why you aren’t with your ex. 

There’s a reason why you two broke up in the first place, so don’t get all sentimental just because they’re with your friend. Remember why your relationship didn’t work and why they aren’t the right person for you.

10. Be the bigger person. 

Don’t sulk and pout and throw away your friendship because you can’t deal. Even though it’s difficult, be the bigger person and rise above the situation. Let them be happy and do your best to get through the awkwardness of it. You’ll be happy in the end that you took the high road.

(source : http://psych-quotes.tumblr.com)

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